Learning to Compromise with Your Parents

One reason I could not evacuate in 2005 was because of my father’s stubbornness. If I had it my way, I would have left New Orleans the minute I had those batteries! Fortunately, we manage to make it through the storm, but not without some hard-earned lessons along the way.

One of those lessons was learning to compromise with my daddy. After some hard truths from other family members, he was finally going to settle in Georgia.

If you have a stubborn parent, it might be hard to convince them to take advice. Nevertheless, here are some practical ways to compromise with your elderly parents as an adult:

1. Figure things out from their point of view.

As adults, we learn empathy by putting ourselves in another’s shoes. In this case, we must first think about things from our parents’ perspective. When we do this, we can at least understand why they may react the way they do.

2. Provide gratitude and appreciation.

Before bringing our issues to our parents, we must first recognize their hard work raising us. As our parents grow older and we become more independent, they may feel left behind and unappreciated. Tell them you appreciate their hard work before gently sharing your concerns to avoid making them feel patronized.

3. Get them to see the benefits of your suggestions.

It’s hard to convince your parents to take advice, much less from their child. It seems that regardless of our age, our parents will always view us as their children. Hence, they may refuse our suggestions no matter how reasonable.

For instance, they may feel patronized if you suggest they visit a doctor for a yearly checkup. Nevertheless, it is essential to bypass this obstacle by showing them the advantages of your suggestion. 

4. Ask other family members for help.

Sometimes it takes an army of private soldiers to convince their general. In this case, getting other relatives like siblings and uncles may convince your parent to see the light finally.

One of the Lord’s commandments is to honor our mother and father. However, as they grow older, they may neglect their being for comfort. In this case, our duty as adult children is to step in and help them enjoy their golden years.

by Cheryl Hawkins

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